Don’t Withhold a Kind Word

As the old year ends and the new one begins, once again I “drenched” myself in promises.
Alongside the usual “I’ll exercise” and “I’ll eat healthier,” a new one appeared:
“I will learn not to hold back a kind word.”

Even as I put this promise in my mind, I accompanied it with the thought: “Well, this one will be easy to keep,” and if I struggle with “body workouts” or “restraining indulgent treats,” at least I can give someone a plus for this.

Then the year began. And that easiest promise—compared to going to the bathroom—started buzzing in my head: “Time to act.”

I walked through the beautiful routine of everyday life. I soaked up little moments of kind service, beautiful gestures, unexpected efforts, and helpful intentions. And when the time came to praise and set off that fireworks of kind words NOW, while the person was still there… it often ended in nothing. I stayed silent like a fish:
“Ah, well, whatever…”
“How will I come across?”
“How to start?”
“Not this, not that…”

And the words, already perched on the tip of my tongue, slipped away unspoken.
“Maybe next time—when we meet again, at the right moment, I’ll say it,” I would soothe my own muteness.

But realizing the year was moving in giant strides and my program hadn’t budged from zero…
I decided to try harder.
Because… what would I tell myself at the year’s end?
That not only did I eat sweets and walk less than I could, but also didn’t accomplish the “easy” promise?

Once, at my Pilates class (yes! According to my promise, I go), I noticed the instructor.
Beautiful! No makeup, yet such a lovely face! Athletic! Pleasant! Radiating calm.
I gawked. Admired how effortlessly and lovingly she demonstrated everything.
After class, in the locker room, we met:
“Come on, V.,” I nudged myself—something inside stubbornly silent like a goat.
Finally, I gathered myself and praised her. Said what had been perched on my tongue.

Her cheeks flushed, but she walked away so happy. Such a long smile across her face that I smiled too.
Because the feeling of not swallowing a kind word is so good.

In the summer, I popped into a fast-food place and saw the cashier. Her hand was tied at the wrist, yet she worked at the register, packaging food like a little bee. I noticed her manicure. Though her hand was “in a cast” to the fingertips, the nails were neat, freshly done.
I paid. Something inside nudged: “Say it!”
I stayed silent. Gathered my food.
“Speak!”—something pinched me.
And I finally said:
“Your manicure is so lovely. It’s wonderful when a woman takes care of herself even when she could skip it.”

How surprised she was! How happy I left her! How good the feeling I carried with the food bag!
I could have stayed silent—but how good it felt to speak.

Today, Mykolas went to kindergarten.
Clutching a bucket of berries and announcing his usual morning line, “I’m the only one,” he went to celebrate a birthday.
A happy mood. But I knew my child wouldn’t accept anything that “didn’t belong” to him.
During birthdays, the celebrants are “crowned” with a year-marking crown.
The teacher sends a photo.
In the picture, Mykolas sits with a crown.
What???
Zooming in, I see the teacher also has a crown, holding Mykolas on her lap, almost hidden.
“God,” I thought.
My heart tightened with a reminder: don’t hold back.

Considering Mykolas’s first weeks at kindergarten and the teachers’ efforts to make him feel as comfortable as possible, I take a few minutes out of my day to write to the kindergarten director.

The heartfelt joy that came back!
How happy she was that her efforts weren’t assumed to be “just natural,” that she didn’t get credit automatically.

Long story short?
I thought it would be easier.
My program “don’t hold back a kind word” is underway.
Incredible, but it’s easier to lift my legs and reach for goodies than to praise when I already feel there’s reason.
I’m moving forward. But with a firm kick to my own butt.

The finale:

Much in life can be written under “taken for granted.”
But the further I go, the more I realize that a kind word, written in clean handwriting, works wonders.
If we thought it was nice, felt it was good,
touched someone with “I care,”
don’t hold it back in your hand. Don’t leave it perched on the tip of your tongue.
An unspoken compliment, sitting on the tongue, sparks a huge wave of good emotions.
And sometimes, a verbal hug works stronger than the tightest embrace.

Sweetly,
Tomorrow, be sure to look around,
You’ll definitely find someone to “hug” with words.
V.