At the end of last week, life happened again.
\nAnd once more, the two of us were sitting in the ER, patiently waiting our turn by the trauma office.
\n\u201cDid you give any painkillers?\u201d asks the pleasant doctor, lifting her eyes from the little finger that resembles a tiny pillow.
\nI shake my head.
\n\u201cYou endured it well, champ?\u201d she asks.
\n\u201cI cooled it when it hurt a lot in the puddle,\u201d answers the child.<\/p>\n
We leave the office together, Dominykas with his broken finger in a cast, and I am once again reminded that patience beside a child is boundless.<\/p>\n
On Monday evening, after a photoshoot on our terrace, when the kids returned from schools and kindergartens, both of them settle beside me on the \u201cextra promises\u201d bench.
\nPatricija leans toward me shyly and says,
\n\u201cMom, that lady is so beautiful\u201d (she\u2019s looking at Karolina, who usually occupies my spot).
\n\u201cJust look at her hair! Long, dark, and curly!\u201d she exclaims, fireworks of admiration sparkling in her eyes.<\/p>\n
Hearing this, Do cuts in:
\n\u201cBut I still think mom is prettier. Even without such hair.\u201d
\nI smile and gently stroke my most loyal supporter.<\/p>\n
When I first learned I was carrying life beneath my heart, I remember wanting a boy with every fiber of my being. I was so convinced that HE was growing inside me that when the doctors announced they could see \u201csomething\u201d between his legs, I fainted from happiness and told everyone it was crucial to simply wish\u2014and dreams come true.<\/p>\n
He would be my little hero. My support. A fortress behind which nothing would be scary. My protector and defender.
\nThat October morning, HE was born. Small, incredibly beautiful and sweet.
\nHe took me by the hand and led me into the colorful world of motherhood without asking much.<\/p>\n
I quickly learned what tummy aches are, mastered teething lessons, and was trained to sleep with nightly pauses. Many nightly pauses.
\nI understood that moms don\u2019t get sick. And if they do, they mask it so well that it seems they didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
I proved to myself\u2014and to everyone else\u2014that it is possible to manage life with a baby in your arms. Not just possible, but achievable in abundance.
\nCarrying a not-so-light companion in a sling, with a backpack over my shoulders, and bags in both hands, I walked through everyday life holding onto a firm \u201cI can\u201d mindset.<\/p>\n
I hummed a lot and every evening experienced the \u201cmarathon\u201d bedtime process, when the eyes would appear almost closed, then tiny again. I trained my patience to press the \u201crepeat\u201d button.
\nSometimes it felt like my arms had grown longer.
\nI realized I could no longer stand still; I bounced constantly\u2014even when there was no baby in my arms, just out of inertia.<\/p>\n
After the second carefully planned birthday for Do, I cried sincerely and tenderly:
\n\u201cI\u2019m hiccupping, wiping salty tears and sighing: \u2018Why everyone else, but mine, the grumbler, so rare?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt will pass, he\u2019ll grow up,\u201d my mom consoled me, stroking my hand\u2014and at that moment, I could not believe it.<\/p>\n
The years passed.
\nTummy aches disappeared.
\nTeeth came through.
\nGrumbles scattered.
\nNights became pause-free.
\nI stopped bouncing.
\nMy arms returned to their usual length.<\/p>\n
And now, walking together along a green forest path, we talk about\u2026 LIFE.
\nNot childishly. Honestly. Sincerely.<\/p>\n
And even though my heart\u2019s little captain is only ten, sometimes I feel next to him like I\u2019m behind a high wall\u2014one that reflects any unfavorable word thrown toward me.<\/p>\n
He is so smart.
\nSensitive. Patient.
\nEmpathetic toward those in pain.
\nObservant of those feeling worse.
\nNot complaining. Not sighing.
\nNot long-winded.
\nBut always present, at the right place and the right time.
\nExactly when a sincere conversation or just being nearby is most needed.<\/p>\n
I tell him about the quirks of his infancy, and I can hardly believe that the person walking beside me is the same one who, tensely pulling the string of my patience, more than once risked snapping it. What do I mean \u201crisked\u201d? Could have broken it entirely.
\nAnd it turns out he was just teaching me patience. While also cultivating it in himself.<\/p>\n
For the moms,
\nWho naively believe in the sweet \u201cfairy tales\u201d of motherhood,
\nAlways secretly knowing that every story has a happy ending.<\/p>\n
V.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"template":"","class_list":["post-17611","istorija","type-istorija","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/viktorijos.lt\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/istorija\/17611","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/viktorijos.lt\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/istorija"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/viktorijos.lt\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/istorija"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/viktorijos.lt\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}